


Sweet Goodbye

by chasingastarlight



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2015-10-19
Packaged: 2018-04-27 04:36:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5034016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasingastarlight/pseuds/chasingastarlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's time for Sherlock to admit his love.</p>
<p>Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, no profit is being made out of this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sweet Goodbye

He was going to tell him. He had to. It couldn’t wait another day, but then Sherlock came back home, greeted him with a warm smile and kissed him on the cheek ever so sweetly that he wasn’t able to say a single word.  
He had to leave. It was breaking him inside, but how could he ever leave Sherlock now that he finally got him? It hadn’t been easy, of course, nothing was ever easy when it came to this man, but he was very proud to call himself his ‘’partner’’, at least at the start, but now…  
When they first met again everything seemed different, Sherlock was still the weird and socially awkward man he knew ages ago, still nice and kind behind all of that. He accepted him into Baker Street and it didn’t take him long to gain his trust back, even though he instantly knew he had been replaced by Sherlock’s best friend: John Watson. He was the first one he was introduced to, the first one Sherlock told him about. Of course, later on he had met Ms Hudson and Lestrade, who was accompanied by the very annoying Anderson and Donovan. Out of them all, he had liked John the most, sure, Lestrade and Ms Hudson were very nice, but John had that special something, he was funny, kind, and above it all he treated Sherlock especially nicely. That hadn’t been suspicious, John was married and he eventually met his wife, they all had dinner together and they both seemed to be very fond of each other, still… there was something weird going on, something he couldn’t tell just yet.  
It hadn’t been hard to get back with Sherlock, they had a past, and even though the detective wasn’t really interested in a romantic relationship, he had no problem in kissing Victor back when he finally did so. He was expecting it, he said. It was obvious, he had to admit. After that, everything had gotten weirder, Sherlock seemed happy to be with him, he had no problem in introducing him as his boyfriend and he usually looked forward to any moment where they could kiss with no one around bothering them. True, they hadn’t had sex in all that time, fair enough, but he knew that Sherlock had never really liked it, even though they had it long before, he was his first, the man didn’t seem to want it at the moment, so Victor didn’t rush it. It took him about three months to realise that there was a reason behind the way Sherlock acted, that he probably wanted sex, but he just didn’t want it with him.  
He started to be more conscious of the bond between Sherlock and John, and he analysed their behaviour in every single situation, the way they looked at each other, the way Sherlock always seemed to need John around whenever he needed to solve a particularly difficult case… all the proof had been there all along and he had been to blind to see it. Not anymore. Now he knew the reason was that Sherlock simply wasn’t in love with him, that his feelings were unrequited, because Sherlock’s heart had been taken by John Watson long before he made his reappearance in the detective’s life.  
He couldn’t be angry at Sherlock, hell, he wasn’t even upset. It wasn’t his fault, it was no one’s fault, he should’ve been smarter and be aware of it sooner, not three months after being involved in a relationship with Sherlock, not now that he had fallen in love all over again. He had to tell him, tell him that he knew of his feelings for John, but Sherlock would deny it, besides, he didn’t want to leave his side, he wanted to be kissing those lips for the rest of his life even if it was all just a lie. So he kept living the lie for another month, until it got too much, too fucking much to be dealing with, he couldn’t keep living like that anymore.  
It was time to tell Sherlock, he tried to write it down, but he thought it’d be unfair to Sherlock not to tell him face to face, then he tried to do it a few times, but always failed miserably when his eyes met his. He loved him too much, thinking about being away from him again broke him inside, but he had to do it, for his own good, for Sherlock’s good…  
After a week, he found the right time to face Sherlock and ask him about John. It was a Saturday night, he was trying to read while his boyfriend played the violin, something that they both liked very much, but that night he couldn’t even concentrate on the lines, too busy trying to keep his mind off the fact that Sherlock was probably imagining it was John sitting on the couch instead of him. He eventually threw the book away and stood up.  
-Sherlock, we need to talk – he announced.  
-That’s… okay – the detective replied while carefully placing his instrument on the table – what do you want?  
Victor swallowed hard. His throat was dry and his hands were shaking. He knew Sherlock had already noticed all of those symptoms, because his eyes were questioning him and he put a hand on his shoulder.  
-Whatever it is, you know you can tell me – Sherlock said – but judging by the state you’re in… I’m guessing it’s nothing good.  
-No… you’re right, it’s not good.  
Sherlock looked at him anxiously waiting for him to continue, which he did after clearing his throat once again.  
-Look, you know I love you… - Victor started.  
-Yes I know – Sherlock cut him.  
-Yes… you know. Well, I know you don’t feel the same way about me, I had been wondering why it would be, if you just were not interested or you didn’t want to rush things, but now I’ve figured it out. You can’t love me because you already love someone else, and don’t try to deny it, Sherlock, I know you do, as much as I wish it wasn’t true. I love you with all my heart, but as much as I dream about you being in love with me, I know that place in your heart is already taken by someone else… I know you love John, and I understand it, I really do, just admit it already… please, for me.  
Victor’s eyes were full of tears by the time he finished his confession, but Sherlock’s expression remained the same for a few more seconds. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about the man in front of him, he just didn’t know what to say. He thought he had hidden it fairly well, thought that Victor didn’t notice, but he should’ve been more aware of the way things had changed during the past weeks, he thought it was due to the fact they weren’t having sex and he was just frustrated about it. Now he could see how wrong he was.  
-Victor… - he tried to choose his words carefully, didn’t want to hurt the man who loved him even more – I’m really sorry… I should’ve told you before… I shouldn’t have let you believe… I’m very sorry.  
Sherlock seemed hurt, he was hurt deep inside, even if it hadn’t affected him directly he had caused pain to someone who was trying his hardest to be good for him, to make him feel good… whole. Giving him everything for months without getting anything in return, just for the sake of love. Human error, but still… he was really sorry.  
-Don’t say you’re sorry, I’m not asking you to be and that’s not gonna change anything. Just say what you really feel, Sherlock, please.  
Sherlock bit his bottom lip and licked it softly while he thought of a proper answer that didn’t give away how desperately in love with John he really was. The image made Victor want to jump on him, kiss him and forget everything that had been said, but he resisted the urge and stayed still, waiting.  
-I don’t know what you want me to say…  
-Yes, Sherlock, you know exactly what I want you to say, don’t make me beg for it anymore.  
-I just… I’ve never… I’ve never said this aloud and… this way it feels as though I’ll never be able to take it back. Feels…  
-Real? – Victor completes.  
-Yes, yes. I can’t say it… there’ll be no going back once those words are out of my mouth.  
-You need to be brave Sherlock, accept it, face it. Face the fact you’re in love with your best friend!  
Sherlock looks down to the floor lacing his fingers together and chewing the inside of his cheek before getting to form the words he’s trapped inside him for so long. After so much time, he’s finally confessing it to someone.  
-I… - he swallows – I love… I’m… I’m in love with John Watson.  
Victor is crying, he’s smiling sweetly at him but he’s crying and Sherlock doesn’t understand why, he wants to ask but he knows it wouldn’t be okay, so he stays quiet, looking at the floor to avoid Victor’s gaze on him.  
-Sherlock… what’s it? – he asks.  
-I’m just sorry I’ve… hurt you.  
-I’m not crying because of that… well, partly, but mostly I’m just happy for you. I’m happy that you found love, and before you can say anything, yes, he loves you too.  
-But he’s married!  
-Not a ring or a signed paper can deny the truth that hides behind his eyes every time he stares at you, Sherlock. That man is in love, but not with his so called wife. Not at all.  
-I should tell him, then, I guess…  
-You should, but I can’t help you with that.  
Suddenly, Victor takes Sherlock in his arms and embraces him in a tight hug. It takes the detective a few seconds to move his arms and put them around Victor.  
-Would you… would you let me have a last kiss?  
Sherlock doesn’t answer, he just cups his face, stroking his wet cheeks and leans in, brushing their lips together. Victor kisses him sweetly, and even though it’s a very brief kiss, he feels satisfied enough to stop it. He looks into Sherlock’s eyes one last time and smiles at him before saying goodbye and leaving him again, this time, forever.


End file.
